2010.03.09 17:05:59

knoxtennman

Self-Imposed Chastity → Lockup of indeterminate length

I took the weekend off from chastity play since we had guests and I didn't want to have to worry about accidental discovery. I locked back up yesterday around noon with a short term, if somewhat undefined goal. You see, this week is spring break for my wife. As much as I would love to be in the sack with her every day this week, her monthly cycle started last Saturday. I am hoping that she will be done and ready to play as early as tomorrow.

Of course, there are some complicating factors. While my wife has never had what I'd call a high sex drive, it is particularly low in the days immediately following her period. Also, she has a mid-term on Monday of next week so she can't really just lounge around and relax all week long. Although I'm obviously hoping she'll realize we should not let this week go by without at least one round of mattress dancing, it would not be entirely out of character for her to announce that it's just not going to work. Or, at the very least, she will put it off until the last minute and then suddenly have a headache. I'm not just being pessimistic here. Plenty of precedence has been been established over our 20+ years of marriage for me to see this as a very possible outcome.

So anyway, my goal is to stay locked up until my wife is ready to have sex or Thursday afternoon at the earliest. I was going to wait until Friday afternoon but going that long without relief might negatively impact my performance should my wife decide she's in the mood.

avoiding detection | goals | sex

2010.03.03 14:19:58

knoxtennman

Self-Imposed Chastity → Lesson Learned

Well, I've learned something about myself and self-imposed chastity. If I don't have a specific goal, I have far less self control. It was no more than two or three hours after my last blog post that the device came off any chance of extending my lock up and denial record came to an end. I've been out of the device ever since. Before I lock up again, I need to set a goal then determine the right day to start the lock up so it fits in with my wife's, and my life's, schedule. Then I must immediately lock the main key in the lock box and send the combination photo to the keyholder website. I seem to be pretty good about not using the emergency key. I'll try to spend some time figuring all that out in the next day or two.

chastity | goals

2010.03.01 16:18:55

knoxtennman

Self-Imposed Chastity → What to do?

Between Thursday night and Sunday morning, I'd say I was locked up about 50% of the time. Even when I was wearing it, I was only doing so to not lose any progress my body was making on getting used to having it on. My wife has a head cold so I pretty much "entertained myself" on Friday and Saturday. By late Saturday morning, my mind began to consider what my next chastity goal would be. I locked back up on Saturday afternoon although I did take it back off Sunday afternoon for a few hours to make a few things easier on me. It had only been a little of 24 hours so I wasn't worried about lacking the will power to keep from cheating.

At this point, I'm not entirely sure what my goal is. If I stay locked up until Thursday again, that would be 1 day longer than the last time. That seems like a reasonable goal from both an orgasm denial point of view and the continuous wearing of the CB-3000 point of view. However, Thursday morning is one of the two best opportunities I have to have sex with my wife (due to her schedule) and if I've gone 5 days without release, I'm not going to last all that long should I get the opportunity. That's not going to make her very happy and could cause a problem with her tolerance of my self-imposed chastity play. If I'd ever had even a little bit of success at milking my prostate, I'd give that a try as that might be enough for me to avoid popping off too soon. The other option would be to unlock myself for a ruined orgasm on Tuesday but I can count the number of times I've really made my self stop and completely ruin it on one hand and have several fingers left over. I always start off fully intending to ruin it, but when the moment arrives, I don't have the will power to let it slip away. I'll figure something out, I guess.

On a positive note, I've determined that I can ride the stationary bikes at my gym with no problem while wearing the CB-3000. The next step will be to see if I can comfortable ride my road bike. I'll probably have to wait a week or so for the weather to warm up a bit before I try that. The two things that worry me about the road bike is the much narrower shape of the saddle and the fact that being bent over on a rode bike for an hour or two frequently causes me to "turtle up" pretty significantly. I'm worried that I'll slip out of the device and I have no idea what kind of discomfort/pain/damage that might cause.

chastity | goals | sex | exercise

2010.02.23 14:43:35

knoxtennman

Self-Imposed Chastity → No Joy

As bad luck would have it, my wife was too busy and definitely not in the mood to have any fun last night. I reset the combination on my key safe and uploaded a pic to the keyholder website. I set it for a release time of late morning on Thursday then told it to randomize a release time near the end. I told it to give me an approximate release time instead of the hot/cold indicator and it is showing a time that is around midnight Wednesday night. I'm going to assume that it will be sometime in the wee hours of Thursday morning and I'll end up having to wait until I have the house to myself before I can get the key and unlock. That will be 5 days since my last orgasm. That's no big deal to long time chastity enthusiasts, but for a newbie, it will be a nice achievement.

I've actually gone longer than 5 days on willpower alone, but it's quite different when wearing the device. It is a CONSTANT reminder that I can't have an orgasm. I can't even tease myself. When I was doing it on willpower, I would still masturbate to the edge at least a couple of times a day. I thought that was making it harder to meet my goal, but now I'm not so sure. At least during the other times of the day, my mind could be completely off of sex. But while I've finally gotten the CB-3000 adjusted to a point that it is reasonable comfortable, I'm almost always aware of it. I'm hoping that will change over time and I'll become so used to it that I don't notice it because I just don't see how I can extend voluntary chastity more than a few days otherwise.

chastity | keyholder.r307.com | goals

2010.02.18 22:27:14

knoxtennman

Self-Imposed Chastity → Getting Lucky!

The big news today is that my wife came home from school for lunch and had some time before she had to go back. She indicated that after she ate and unwound from the stress of taking a test this morning that she'd be up for some fun. I unlocked myself and got cleaned up so I'd be ready when she was. (She tolerates my CB but prefers not to have to deal with it.) We had a great time. I only wish she hadn't had to go back to school so we could have taken more time with it.

I waited until she left for school before locking back up. It turned out to be very good timing for me because just this morning I had finally found the toe bandages I'd read about and now I had an opportunity to try one out. I'm hoping it will work out better than the band-aides I've been putting over the hinge until now. So far, so good.

I don't know if anyone is actually reading this blog, but if so, I mentioned in my previous post that my goal was to stay locked up this time (with exceptions for cleaning) until my wife was ready for sex. I had originally expected that to be Friday at the earliest. While I'm very pleased to have had the opportunity to have sex, it has left me temporarily goal-less now that I've locked myself back up. Although there are certainly exceptions, my wife's sexual needs combined with her stressful school workload usually equate to once or twice a month. That means that it is quite possible it will be around another 2 weeks before we have sex again and I'm not ready to commit to that length of a lockup just yet. Eventually I will be ready for that, but I'm trying to build a string of successes as positive reinforcement and I don't want to set an unreasonable goal and not make it.

One possible goal is to try out keyholder.r307.com for just a couple of days and see how it goes. It looks like a pretty cool website. I might even contact the authors and suggest an additional feature or two once I've played around with it some.

One of the things I find really interesting is how hard it is to keep the device on right now. There's this part of me that reasoning that since I've had an orgasm today, why not just have one or two more before locking up again? That date of last orgasm doesn't change, right? Go for it! It seems that willpower is just as important immediately after release as it is when several days go by. The real "fun" will start when I remove willpower from the equation!

sex | goals | keyholder.r307.com

2010.02.17 18:39:41

knoxtennman

Self-Imposed Chastity → 1 Day Locked

I went to the gym this morning, but I skipped the showers. I had planned on going for it, but I had a teleconference call scheduled for this morning and I ended up not having time after my workout for a shower. Plus, I forgot to bring any Q-tips so I wouldn't have had a good way to clean inside the cage. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

I had really hoped that my wife and I would have an opportunity for sex this morning. Unfortunately she woke up with a headache and I had that teleconference followed up by a dentist appointment. By the time I finally got back from the dentist, she had to get ready to go to school. Hopefully, it will work out tonight. I really hope so because even though I've only been locked up a little over 24 hours, I'm really feeling the need for an orgasm. I can only hope as I get more used to wearing the CB-3000 that I won't ALWAYS feel horny. I mean, I need to be able to concentrate on work, ya know?

Well, regardless of what happens tonight, my goal is to stay locked up until my wife is ready to have sex no matter how long that is. Let me modify that statement. My goal is to refrain from having an orgasm until that point. I may have to unlock to check on my skin given the rash I had last week. However, I'm really hoping I can stay in the device the entire time because, honestly, if I take this thing off, I don't think I could keep myself from taking matters in to my own hands.

cleaning | goals